So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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