I'm drive I can fine osifer
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
