oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
