It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
