I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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