Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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