ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
