the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
