R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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