I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
