i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
