I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
