yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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