You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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