theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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