i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
