I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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