You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
