the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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