Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Fuck appropriateness.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
