I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
