I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
