I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
