is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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