Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize