I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
