I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize