seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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