thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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