i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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