i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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