life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
