dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize