Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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