I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
