Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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