not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
