Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
