just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
