After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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