just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You were trust falling into bushes
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
