you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
