Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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