I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
