I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
