you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
