why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
