so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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