If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
