I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Drunk is a universal language darling
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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