Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
