My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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