How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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