i jhust puked up my retainher.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
