walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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